So I need to do this right now. So we’re talking a little bit about resiliency. And to me, that’s, that’s a little bit of the epicenter of it, I want to keep this like really simple. Because it really can be really simple. As hard as it seems. It’s as if the the formula is can I get quiet enough to listen to that part of myself that knows? that knows exactly what I need. That knows that in this moment, if I really pause and look around, I’m, I’m safe. And and that’s, unfortunately, that voice inside each and every one of us that lives and each and every one of us gets covered up because our minds get so noisy.

It gets noisy with the kids clogged up by the overstimulation of the media.It gets clogged up by our thoughts and our worries, gets clogged up by our worry about our own anxiety and we can’t and we can’t hear it. And then we try to hear it, we try to tell ourselves, we’re okay maybe at times, maybe at times, we try and look up all the self help stuff I can find and just tell myself, fit in things and that that can try and force the idea that I’m okay. And, and sometimes that just actually creates more resistance, the striving to be okay creates more resistance, and pressure. And sometimes what we need is to relax, and listen. And so how do we do that. And that’s a really, really important practice. And there’s a lot of things to do, like so if we’re if the if the if the formula is these three R’s that I like to talk about, recognize, release, refocus.

If you’ve heard any of my stuff, maybe you’ve heard me say those before. And it’s worth like repeating throughout our entire life. Because wherever our focus goes, it tends to invite a certain energy. We focus on worrying, we create anxiety, if we focus on, if we just naturally focus on gratitude as an example. And it’s and it’s authentic, we tend to lighten up the energy tends to lighten up. If we stay present as one person in our we have an area of the, the, of the collective called the inner core and and this is a group that meets, you know, really regularly and and one of the participants once said that, she said, sometimes I just focus on my daughter’s eyelashes, and the particulars of her face and her eyelashes. And and a shift is created to me. Now we say what’s resiliency resiliency is is being able to bounce back in some ways in the face of difficulty. It’s, it’s, it’s having the ability to not go down so deep. And if we do, we maybe have this awareness that all things come and go, all things shift, all things change. And even in this difficult moment. I know this won’t last forever. And I can come out of this though.

So the question is during this time, what am I really needing? So to be able to ask that question, though? What am I needing self compassion as an example? For those who are familiar with that practice? Or maybe have gone through programs involved in it, the essential question there is, what am I needing? And, but in order to ask that question, and be able to listen to the answer, we have to have created space to be able to drop that question in. Sometimes it’s like, we’re trying to fish for that question. But the lake is iced over. We need like a hole and space that space between stimulus and response to be able to we need to widen that space in order to listen. Just listen. And if that space is wide enough, we can hear a voice inside or it’s kind of like a sensing sometimes it’s not even a voice. It’s not it’s not a it’s not necessarily like someone’s voice necessarily. Sometimes it’s a sensing that, okay, yeah, this is what I’m needing or I’m okay or something like that. And we can train ourselves and get the skill in order to do that. resiliency is also so that’s the recognize the release. is a way of widening that space.

So the release is this, this worry, this challenge is in May, it’s all in the way we’re relating to it, it’s real. COVID is real, we’ve been living with it for 10 months, and we’re gonna be living with it for a while. And even though this seems like maybe there’s a light at the end of the tunnel in some way, it’s not anytime in the next day or two. And, and so here we are, and we’re living with it. And so we need to release and, and the releasing widens that space between stimulus and response we release through our bodies are so many different ways to release and widen that space and not just meditation. Meditation is one way, if that’s what we’re feel like we’re needing to be quiet to do a guided meditation or favorite one, whatever it is, or go to, you know, practice. Sometimes it’s just like shaking our body, sometimes it’s putting a song on that invites a different energy. Sometimes it’s looking at the particulars of a someone’s face. And a picture that we have some is getting out in nature and touching a tree. What what helps me release this energy for some people, they literally go out and they put their hand on a tree and just imagine this energy is flowing in the tree and the tree absorbs it because nature can be so healing.That’s a release lots of different ways to release. to widen that space, so that then we can ask the question, what is it I’m really needing right now. So I can elongate my opportunity for resiliency.

So recognize, release, refocus, because remember refocuses wherever we focus, it tends to invite a certain energy, but we can’t just work some people go that is an issue is we tend to just try and go straight to gratitude. Or we go we go straight to trying to self talk, self talk, self talk, I’m okay, or look what’s good around me or, you know, that kind of thing. And, and it’s not that impactful, maybe a little bit, but because the space wasn’t widened enough, there’s no, when we when we take a plant and we’re planting it in our garden, we have to dig a hole deep hole so that we can put it down and the roots can grow. If we just like planted there, if we just put it on top of the bed of dirt. It’s not going to really root that, well, we need to put a hole in there we go, we got to create some space for it. So we create some space, that’s the release recognize crits a little bit release? Why’s that space? Now we can drop the question and that’s the seed for to take root. What do I need right now? Very simple, simple practice. And, and if we widen that space enough, when we drop that question in, that’s when that part of us that knows will tell us what we need. don’t even need to force it. It’s it’s just about if we get to a point of recognize we’re releasing. And, and, and we ask ourselves the question, but I can’t hear anything, I can’t sense anything, we need to go back and recognize and release again, I don’t need to force it. I don’t need to force the what I think I should need right now. If you can’t hear it, we go back to recognize and release again.

We go back until the space is wide enough where we just hear that voice inside that lives in every single one of us, I promise and you know, it’s there. It just knows we just didn’t are on a constant transit forgetting. Because we’re so busy inside of us with our within our own selves from our own history that’s made it busy with our overstimulation and we we fill the spaces of our lives which which, which on its own is its own thing, but we’re doing is we’re practicing buisiness and so it just makes it noisier inside of us and we can’t hear that voice. That’s all that’s why practicing stillness is is actually kind of important, not just for the stillness itself, but so that we can have that available to us to widen that space and be able to hear so, so that’s why we practice this mindfulness stuff really is because it’s like, it’s a strength inside of us that we want to strengthen. So we can here we can like, in some ways, balance out all the noise a little bit here inside of ourselves, what we’re really needing from the part of us that knows and, and so that’s that’s one thing around resiliency and I just want to add one other thing, and then we’ll we can discuss it, too. There’s a reality that we sometimes forget and everyone here kind of knows it. The reality of impermanence, the reality that all things come and go, all things come and go, I haven’t really met anyone that’s been able to come up with anything that that’s not true for.
I think our son is halfway through its lifecycle right now. From what I understand, and so in like 5 billion years or something like that, the sun will go, everything comes and goes, that means this planet too, so.
So

when we’re trying to, we’re on a journey of our own health, and well, being of our own resiliency, we have to understand that alongside this journey, we’re gonna have tough moments, tough times. And we’re gonna have like, awesome times. And the trick here is to remember that, so that we say, okay, so during these tough times, I have to apply something different, I’m going to need something different to create a certain kind of grace. And when I do that, when I layer in this self compassion, or getting clear on what I’m needing, and being able to apply it, like a solve to a wound, that I create a certain strength from that, because I teach myself that no matter what comes my way I can be okay. And, and, and I create a memory of that. So that during the next tough moment, it’s retrievable. And during the good moments, I also recognize those as impermanent. And for some people, it’s like, oh, that’s a bummer.

I have this story that I lived in Northern California, and my wife and I, and, and the, in the in the South Bay, the grass gets Brown. In the winter, and so many parts of the world it gets brown in the winter, right? And California doesn’t I mean, in Southern California and happen as much a little different. But, and she said, like, Oh, it was during the, no, it was during the spring. And she said, look at the graphic of the hills are so beautiful and green. And I said that they are they really are and at some point in not too distant future, they’re going to be brown. She said, Why do you have to be some negative? Why are you so negative? But I said, No, no, I’m just saying that it’s going to change. So I’m appreciating the green here while it’s here, because it’s going to change, all things come and go. And, and so do our difficult moments, instead of the good moments. And so we can learn to be grateful for the good moments. And those moments may what we’re needing is like to celebrate. And in the, in the tougher moments, we’re needing something different and and everything comes and goes just like this COVID as much as so many.

There’s many people I know who say like, this is never gonna go away. Or it’s in life, you know, and I can’t and that’s just not in the realm of possibility. Because it in the way that it is right now. Because all things come and go. Just a basic natural law. And so and so if we can have that perspective, we can hold that in the tough moments, then we can realize it’s maybe there may be less stinging. And we can realize during this time, what am I needing right now. And this time has been long, the social isolation of it, for a lot of people has been long and so and so we come back to it like it seems like it’s kind of re traumatizing almost, because it seems like Well, yeah, well, I thought it was temporary. But look how long it’s been about 10 months now. And so when’s it gonna end? And what am I gonna be able to hug people again, and, you know, see my friends and do this kind of thing. And it’s gonna happen. And and so the question is, like, now for this period of time, how much ever longer It is like, what am I? How do I how do I get in touch with that part of myself, that can be aware of what I’m needing, while holding the perspective of the temporary pneus of this stuff. And so playing with those different things, when we’re talking about resiliency, that formula of those three R’s, making sure you can hear that voice if you can’t, going back to those first two, practicing and repeating that, and then also the perspective of the change journey.

The journey of life of how it goes like this, and the more we can make use of those tougher moments, the more we can recognize them, release, refocus. The more we could celebrate the good moments, the more balance and sense of inner peace we can create within ourselves. Because we don’t get so hooked, get as hooked. But as I say this, by the way, this is something I have to actively practice because I’m not it’s an imperfect type of thing. And, and try not to project any kind of perfection on me or anybody. Really, the Dalai Lama, as an example has a tough time meditating. So Sometimes, that’s something he talks about. It’s not easy for him. He sometimes goes a while without doing it. It’s hard for him. And so it’s not it’s not as if anybody has, has it and there’s no perfection to any of it. So, so we play with it. That’s the use I that’s the word I use. I like to use that word better than practicing something and play with